You are here

Add new comment

Sharing a room as a student, how to survive?

If you have to share a room, a good coexistence with your roommate is essential. You already have enough stress with your studies, the last thing you want is a bad feeling in your room. The good news is that the basics of good coexistence are very simple.

 
1. Show respect

This is the basis of everything. If you respect your roommate's personality and things, everything else will be easy. Don't criticize his clothes, the books he reads, or his friends. Respect his right to be himself, and he will do the same with you. Respect his things and his space, too. Don't touch his things without permission, don't leave your books on his desk... and when your friends visit you, make sure they do the same.

2. Be considerate of your roommate

If your roommate is sick and has a headache, don't play the radio at full blast. If he has an exam the next day, don't throw a party in your room the night before. Put yourself in his place. When you're going to do something that affects him, ask his permission even if you think he doesn't care. Invite him to do things with you and your friends even if you know he'll say no. He'll appreciate it. When friends come to the room, introduce them to your partner if you don't know each other. These are common sense things, but sometimes it's easy to forget them. Put effort into these things, and you'll build the foundation of a good relationship that will contribute a lot to your living together.

3. Be honest

Did you mistakenly delete all his MP3s? Did you eat the last of the doughnuts his mother sent him? Tell him, and if necessary apologize. We are all human and we all make mistakes. If you admit when you've made a mistake, you'll gain the respect and trust of your partner.

4. Make other friends

If you get along well with your roommate, great. But don't make him your only friend. If you live together, eat together and always go out partying together, sooner or later one of you will get overwhelmed. And that won't be good for living together. Even if you're good friends, it's healthy to have friends on your own. The college years should be used to explore your tastes, your abilities and your ambitions. Each person you meet will bring different things to the table, new ideas and alternative points of view. Don't limit yourself to a small circle of friends. If you're shy, it's important to make an effort to introduce yourself to new people: in class, in the cafeteria, wherever. You'll find that the vast majority will be thrilled to meet you. They didn't know anyone when they arrived either.

5. Open your mind

Imagine your roommate spends his free time listening to love songs from Amazonian tribes. Do you tell all your friends that you're living with a crackpot? No. As the college student you are, you recognize that you have a great opportunity to strengthen your relationship with your roommate. You ask him how he got interested in that kind of music, where he gets the recordings, maybe you show him how to set one of the songs as a ringtone for his cell phone, while you pass it on to your cell phone too (cool!). We all like to be asked about the things that matter to us. And who knows, maybe you'll end up liking those Amazonian screams.

6. When something bothers you, say so, but tactfully

No matter how well you get along, there are going to be things that bother you. Maybe your partner likes to study late with the radio on, and you like to sleep early. Or maybe his pile of laundry has grown so big that he won't let the sunshine in through the window anymore. If it bothers you, don't keep it inside until one day you explode. Talk to him. But do it in a productive way. Accusations, insults and yelling are only going to provoke a defensive response. The key is to communicate the problem in a way that doesn't threaten the other person, and to work together to find a solution. You can say "Fran, I'm having trouble sleeping with the radio on." You must be prepared to negotiate. He may respond that he can't sleep without the radio. If you suggest a compromise, you show that you are a reasonable person. Perhaps you can propose that he program the radio to play for 40 minutes and then turn off automatically. Likewise, if your partner proposes a reasonable compromise, accept it. In any case, try to understand each other's point of view and be respectful. If you are both reasonable, a compromise is almost always possible.

7. If you don't become best friends, that's okay

You're going to share a room, not get married. Your life won't be hell just because your roommate doesn't become your best friend. The great thing about college is that you're going to meet a lot of people, practically every day, and from them you can choose who you want to be friends with. If your freshman classmate is one of them, great, awesome! If not, that's okay. Because the great thing about living together is this: two responsible people can live together in perfect harmony without being friends.

It's inevitable that your roommate or roommate will be different from you in many ways. These differences may be minor, or you may be as different as night and day. Take it as an opportunity to learn. Remember that it is the differences that make the world an interesting place. In real life there are many times when we don't get to choose the people we have to interact with. But no matter how different we may seem, there are always many similarities that can bring us together if we are willing to look for them.

8. If living together becomes a nightmare, look for solutions.

You do your best and it doesn't work out? It's okay, raise the solution in an open way and consider the possibility of changing accommodation or that the other person does it. In www.dondememeto.com you will see that there are always options to change accommodation at any time during the course. It is important to be comfortable where you live in order to be able to study, rest and also enjoy yourself. So don't worry if the relationship doesn't work out, there are always other options!